Normally I don't get very personal here, but I'm really excited about a book I'm reading and wanted to share. As we were driving home from Idaho in August, we happened across a radio interview of Susie and Will Davis, a pastor and speaker from Texas, who were discussing Susie's book Loving Your Man Without Losing Your Mind. We looked at each other after listening a few minutes and I said "I need this book!" I have a good marriage, but there is room for improvement :) I am finally getting around to reading it and am convicted and excited about what I've read.
Chapter 1 is titled Love in Translation; Why What You Say and How You Treat Your Husband Really Matter. In summary, she describes how we often live out the "love most, act worst" philosophy; those we love the most get treated the worst. We let our mood or busyness or sense of duty get in the way of treating our loved ones as well as we treat strangers or friends & acquaintances. GUILTY AS CHARGED! She challenges that we should operate on the "love most, act best" philosophy which means we communicate through our actions and words a deeply felt affection for the people we love.
Susie goes on to discuss the Greek agape and phileo love. Agape love describes caring deeply for someone with unconditional acceptance and phileo love is a brotherly kind of love & affection. Our motives are based in agape love, but we (I!) lack phileo love in my actions and communication with my family. I would never be as impatient or scolding and express my frustration as quickly with a friend/stranger as I do with my family. This realization is a step towards improving how I can change to make myself a better wife & mother. God made Andy and I and wants us to have a happy, fulfilling marriage together. Considering how I communicate is a small step towards improving that relationship and banishing the "crazies" from my marriage.
After all this, my goal for now is to "Love Most, Act Best." My family deserves the best of me, whether or not I feel like it. Not feeling well or being busy or impatience are not excuses to treat my family worse than I treat strangers. Hopefully, this has challenged you also. If you're interested in a discussion group about this book, let me know!